Recognising an Abusive Relationship

You may be becoming or already are a victim of abuse if you:

  • Feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep him from getting angry and are frightened by his temper.
  • Feel you can't live without him.  
  • Stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because he doesn't like them.  
  • Are afraid to tell him your worries and feelings about the relationship.  
  • Are often compliant because you are afraid to hurt his feelings; and have the urge to "rescue" him when he is troubled.  
  • Feel that you are the only one who can help him and that you should try to "reform" him.  
  • Find yourself apologising to yourself or others for your partner's behavior when you are treated badly.  
  • Stop expressing opinions if he doesn't agree with them.  
  • Stay because you feel he will kill himself if you leave.  
  • Believe that his jealousy is a sign of love.  
  • Have been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at you by him when he was jealous or angry.  
  • Believe the critical things he says to make you feel bad about yourself.  
  • Believe that there is something wrong with you if you don't enjoy the sexual things he makes you do.  
  • Believe in the traditional ideas of what a man and a woman should be and do -- that the man makes the decisions and the woman pleases him. (some people)
  • Have been abused as a child or seen your mother abused.

Women's Support Contact: Melape Mose-Wallace or Caryn Taitoko 
Phone: 07 346 2096   Email: or


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